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| Viola Jokes |
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How is lightning like a violist's fingers?
Neither one strikes in the same place twice.
How do you keep your violin from getting stolen?
Put it in a viola case.
What's the difference between a violin and a viola?
1. The viola burns longer.
2. The viola holds more beer.
3. You can tune the violin.
How do you get a viola section to play spiccato?
Write a whole note with "solo" above it.
What's the difference between a viola and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.
What's the difference between a viola and an onion?
No one cries when you cut up a viola.
What's the definition of a minor second?
Two violists playing in unison.
Why do violists stand for long periods outside people's houses?
They can't find the key and they don't know when to come in.
How can you tell when a violist is playing out of tune?
The bow is moving.
Why don't violists play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
A conductor and a violist are standing in the middle of the road. which one do you run over first, and why?
The conductor. Business before pleasure.
What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?
Everyone is happy when the case is closed.
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